Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm like, not good at living.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
