When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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