ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
