D3 body, D1 cock
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dear god my vagina.
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