D3 body, D1 cock
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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