Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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