Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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