# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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