Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
