Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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