do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
