so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
