oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
and you fell through a lawn chair
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
