I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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