Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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