how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
