Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
