We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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