Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
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He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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