remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
