Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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