yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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