and she was petting her beer can
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
