i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize