You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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