Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
handjob tips. give me some.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
