She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
