You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
