I cannot find my penis.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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