we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
