Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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