You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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