Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
