I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
