another moral hangover. fuck.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
