Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
