there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
