used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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