Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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