Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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