I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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