Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
