She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
