He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
