Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
