so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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