Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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