is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
