new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
