omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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