being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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