I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
