but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
