Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
