I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How does one acquire holy water?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
