It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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