You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
