so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
