Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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