id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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