so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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