my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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